stayfocused

How To Stay Focused And Live Life More Wholesomely

In the day and age where our lives have become much like that of going through a drive-in window, we begin to find we don't have time to do the things we enjoy, or find that time to have a quality relationship with ourselves, others in our lives and hence flowing over into our spiritual relationship. When we look at what is holistic living.. using the definition that American Heritage dictionary: the belief emphasizing the importance of the whole and the independence of its parts.

Our lives have a three-fold relationship, the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationships we have with others, and our relationship with God or one's Higher Power. Over the years I have heard people tell me, I don't have time for me, or that's selfish and self-centered. One of the most important relationships one will have in this lifetime, is that relationship with one's self. When one fails to be the care-giver to themselves, what you inevitably will see is this flows over into the relationship with others, on into ones spiritual relationship. All three independent relationships, yet all part of the whole.

Few years ago I read a article, about how many of us have become "sleep-walkers" going through life. We basically are like that ball in a pinball machine, we move along, the course, we slam into a "life obstacle", instead of seeing the importance of that obstacle, we continue down the course until slammed again, and hoping like heck not to fall into the hole at the end of the game. Life isn't about punishment, or being tormented, or slammed around, its truly awakening from that sleep and living life to the fullest and its potential. Seeing that "life obstacles" as lessons, that prepare us, shape us, develop who we are, what we become, in order for us to share with not only ourselves, but others and our spiritual journey.

We awaken to learn what it is to love oneself, self-love. Defined as "regard for one's self", note it doesn't say "having only concern for oneself". How many times have we heard the questions asked, "I wonder if anyone loves me." We begin to base that love on what others thinks and says, our self-worth isn't based on those who love us or doesn't love us, its based on "Do we love ourselves." We all have different beliefs, after studying various beliefs they all in some form or another come back on this lesson, self-love. It always bring to mind, when Jesus said, "Love God and your neighbor, as you love yourself." Basically confirming you can't be one without the other. Over the years I have heard people state, "Its easier to love others than myself", reason being its painful to look at the reason we can't love ourselves, so therefore we "literally stuff that pain" deep within ourselves, grasping for those "quick fixes" from the feelings and emotions of loving others.

Self-love is discovering what is the best for one's own well-being. Discovering that self-love is not what is always good for others, what is fun, or what makes one feel good but a honest, self-reflection, self-criticism and analyze that sometimes maybe difficult and demanding of who we are.

It's discovering what your own self-needs here are and recognizing them. Self-love demands self-discipline, self-recognition, and sacrifice yet through the process will come the courage and strength, thus in turn we are then able to reach out to others. We begin to learn to take time out for ourselves, instead of reaching that "burn out stage", knowing when we need to either let our body rest, or take a mental break. Its learning to see when we need to step back, and be the care-giver with our own being. When we do this for ourselves, not only is it healthy for us in our own growth and daily living it is healthy for those around us.

Recently, in speaking to a friend, she had shared how tired and frazzled she was with her life and how at times all she could do was sit and cry. I made the suggestion of taking some time for herself, her reply back, "With everything in my life, I have no time." She continued on to tell how with her work she wasn't accomplishing the daily task required of her, and in her relationship with her children she wasn't finding the patience to deal with their problems, how her relationship with her husband was like two ships passing each other in the night.

We get so busy fulfilling those "things" "responsibilities" in our life, we feel we don't have time for ourselves. We send a loud message, "I'm not worth the time." Like that pin ball game, that process of hitting one obstacle to hit another, all the time trying to avoid going into that hole, we find ourselves there sooner or later as my friend had.

No one can stop this spiraling "sleep walking" process, until one decides for themselves to end this vicious cycle or course they are on. Take that time today, to see the importance of how all three relationships have to be nurtured and tended.

For if one is neglected, it spills over into the other two. Learn to rediscover you, as the person, the unique individual. One who is self-confident, one who is constantly evolving and changing, one who is not "lifeless" but full of life. One who isn't just seeking answers, but one who is asking "life giving questions." Take that risk of knowing what to live means, knowing what the "obstacles" the poundings one endures, to become life lessons in teaching you of your self-strength, self-love, self-endurance and self-respect. Going forth to develop healthy relationships with others and building a stronger bond in your spiritual relationship.